The Environment

Maria Montessori said that the environment where a child grows can either assist or destroy his development.  The Discovery of the Child, p.61, Chap 3

I believe the environment is one of the most essential characteristics in helping us have a successful home.  It's not just a homeschool,  but a home.  I  believe every home is a homeschool or should be,  whether or not kids go to a formal school or learn at home.  I believe that a home and family are the primary  molders of a childs entire life.

In a home,  we need to not only teach our kids life-skills,  but spiritual, academic, social.  So many things that need to take place in a home.  There was a point when I was frazzled asking myself.  How am I going to teach all of these skills to my kids.  I feel the thing that has made all of the difference and taught me how to create an environment of learning, organization, love and the gospel has all been from my studies of this book:

The Demille's talk about how in order to create a house of learning and establish family goals,  there are 55 ingredients like in a recipe that can help in this recipe of a successful home.  I will go into greater detail about how we have applied the 55 ingredients in our home as outlined in this book "The Phases of Learning".  It has made a diffference and it is amazing. 

 Just the other day as I watched Elise reading about Molly Pitcher and then highlighting all of the books that she wants her to read. I was amazed.  She has on her list of books to read,  all of the American Girl books,  books about Abigail Adams, Amelia Earhart and all of these great women that are shaping and molding her.  Dallin is reading plenty of fluff,  but he is also reading about Thomas Jefferson, and so many books that I am just amazed at his choices.  They have chosen these for themselves,  the only work I did was inspire them to read about great women and men and shared scriptures with them that shape my views.  This is true education when our kids learn to choose for themselves and are working on their own personal goals.  Because,  eventually they are only accountable for themselves.  

I can't control what they choose,  but I can control the environment in my home,  

and I can control the choices that I offer them.

  As they get older and learn how to make choices in the home then they are ready to make choices in the world (my two cents).  

The Demille's  have inspired me and helped me to learn how to create a house of learning and a place where my kids can learn to make choices and are choosing to learn.  I will share what things we have done in later posts.  

In their book they talk about 55 ingredients to a successful core and love of learning phase,  roughly the ages 0-12.  They have done a lot of research and applied these ingredients in their home and share how they applied them in their book.  Also,  Rachel Demille has a facebook group and anytime I have a question,  I ask her (yes her),  and she responds to me.  She is like my own personal mentor.  It is great.  I'm so excited to share with you how we have applied these 55 ingredients to create the home that we have always wanted.  

These beautiful faces are my inspiration to keep on trying even when I fail.

GETTING OVER THE HUMP

There come times in our lives when we are trying to climb a hill that

seems endless.  However,  I am a firm believer that all hills

can be climbed and that we can do anything that we set our hearts on.

Of course,  with the Lord's help. 

 Today I read an amazing book to my kids

about an amazing lady that I don't think many of us know about.

(I really like these books by Demi,  they have great messages)

In this book it tells the story of Joan of Arc. (This was during the 100 years war) It is said that she had an angel appear to her that told her what she must do to free her country of France from the mean rulers of England.  France eventually was freed because of Joan of Arc.

She became invincible with the Lord's help,  however,  there came a time when she stopped listening to "The Voices from heaven"  as she called them,  and started listening to the King.  Then,  she stopped hearing these "voices from heaven" and was soon defeated and burned to death.  

It is a sad story,  I learned that when we listen to the Lord He strengthens us.  When we start listening to "men" "others"  and let fear overcome us,  then we stop hearing those voices from the Lord.

I loved this story,  and it taught me to not be overcome by fear,  but allow my initial feelings from the Lord to lead me.  Like Joan of Arc,  I too can become invincible.

This is what I mean by getting over the hump.

There are patterns in life,  and in history that if we learn the lessons that they teach can be applied to our lives.

We all have humps,  history has humps.  In order for us to get onto higher ground  we have to overcome obstacles.  Sometimes,  these obstacles seem too hard to climb,  but if we keep on pushing and seeking the Lord's help,  we too can get onto higher ground.

If we turn around,  we will go back only too find that the Lord has another hill for us to climb.  This is how He teaches us hill by hill.  Eventually,  we need to realize that until we climb that hill, that we will never be able to make it to the other side.  

WE CAN DO IT!!!

A STRONG FOUNDATION

I am committed!!  I told my Dad that I would try and do one post per week on my blog, and so here I go.

What a better place to start than with the Core Phase.

Build a strong foundation???

On what???

What is a strong foundation???

Well,  this is the Core Phase.  The foundation of a family, a person, of anything that we are trying to create and grow.  Everything needs a strong foundation,  even the center of the earth.  If the earth did not have a rock solid core, what would happen to our earth?

If we look at the patterns that Heavenly Father has provided for us and the many examples that Heavenly Father gives us in the scriptures,  we will see that he cares about having a strong foundation.

So, why not give our family a strong foundation.  The foundation that will not fall should be as follows: 

We should have our families foundation on Christ.  It is not easy to do this when there are so many distractions and things that get in the way, so the best way that I feel is to spend as much time as you can as a family building the strong foundation while you work, play, and read.  

How can we do this??...

"And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." (Deuteronomy 6:7)

I feel in a loving family and home setting is the best place for a foundation to be built.  No where else do people care more about children than their parents. 

When I fell upon "The Thomas Jefferson Education"  it rang true to me when the author described a core phase as being what is lacking in today's modern educational world. 

" During core phase, critical lessons of life are learned and assumptions made that define the individual's concept of self, family, and the beginnings of their broader worldview... This should occur roughly between the ages of 0-8.  Home is the ideal venue for core phase, and "homeschool"  in the core is a product of the structure and flow of family life. This consists of the lessons of good/bad, right/wrong, true/false and is accomplished through work/play....during this phase the biggest need is a rich learning environment and culture of self-education"  (A Thomas Jefferson Education, Oliver Demille p.32)

I love this last part from this paragraph it says during this phase we need a  rich learning environment and a culture of self education.

To me this means that if we want our kids to learn something or to value something,  we need to make this part of our family culture.  This is just what the Core Phase is,  setting up a family culture.  Not sending the kids off to work on individual tasks or to go play with friends,  but to learn to work together as a family, play together, learn together.  As these things are developed and cultivated in a loving home,  then our kids are ready to progress onto a different phase.  
We had a pretty good core phase,  but as we started homeschooling we had to go back and re-define our family culture and we are still doing this.

Our Family's Goals during Core Phase:

Now we are working on making Christ the center of our home through the scriptures.
Becoming best friends as a family through activities, games, family projects as well as learning to work together
Making a culture of learning in our home,  creating a house of learning through reading and family projects
Working together to keep our house clean and organized
Creating a culture of service by serving our neighbors and in our church callings as well as in our family.
Eating healthy foods and getting enough exercise in order to keep our body and minds healthy and strong.  
We are also working on developing strong family relationships and strong family ties that are the ones that last (not just friendships made at school that we never see again). 
We as the parents are working on our parenting skills as well as our relationship with eachother and God so that we can give our kids a solid core phase.
Helping each child feel valued and of worth and to recognize their divine potential. 
Setting Rules and Boundaries that help us learn how to use time wisely.
Sharing stories through movies and books that reinforce good values and solid principles that lead to eternal happiness.
Establishing solid family routines of learning, work, service and play.
 Oh and most importantly  
SETTING THE EXAMPLE BY LEARNING AND WORKING ON PROGRESSING IN OUR OWN INDVIDUAL MISSIONS AS PARENTS

When I first started homeschooling  the above picture shows what I thought homeschooling should look like.  Now, after studying a "Thomas Jefferson Education".  This is what I think a homeschool should look like...

I believe that as we teach our children of Christ through our many activites throughout the day, then all things shall be added unto us that the Lord has in store for us.

Instead of running to school, sports, so many extracurricular activities that take us away from home we decided to stay home and build a core a "Strong Foundation" for our family and it has been great.

I also love this description of developing the inner core from Donna Goff at Moorhousehomeschool.blogspot.com.  

Developing the Inner Core

Children under eight, and those over eight that were never trained, need to develop their inner core.  That core is their relationships and values.  During those early years are when they develop trust and the ability to form attachments.  They develop their identity, as well as, relationships with God, family and community. This is when they learn to discern right from wrong, good from evil, and truth from error. Basically, all the time.  Children learn values and relationship to God, as they work along side their parents, worship together, serve together, play together, and develop a family culture of learning together. Yet, in our current culture this is the time little children are focused on them doing academics at a very young age and also in being entertained and kept busy, rather than them developing as a whole person. 

(from moorhousehomeschool.blogspot.com)

I am so glad that we discovered that having a strong family foundation is the most important education that we can receive.  It has truly been a blessing to our family and will give us many happy memories as a family that will last forever.  We love Core Phase!!!!

The Seasons of Our Day

Leadership education, a model of education that I follow emphasizes finding natural rhythms and patterns in your life that can help you do what comes naturally to you.  In the book called The Phases of Learning, The Demilles mention as one of the ingredients to successful Leadership Education is following the seasons of the year.

They said that they decided to heat their home with wood so that they can truly experience winter in their home.  They say that there is so much that we can learn during each season of the year and things that you learn during each season are different and contribute to a whole person.  I loved this idea.

I read another post by another girl in a facebook group that I follow.  She mentioned how she followed the seasons of the year to pattern her day.  I thought this was a great idea.  So, I pondered this thought and taught this to my family.

The Seasons of our Day:

Spring  (morning):

Words that came to my mind:
awakening,  new beginning,  planting seeds,  pulling weeds,  resurrection, spring cleaning

We decided that the morning is the time to clean,  to eliminate distractions,  to plant our seeds of learning and to study the gospel.

Summer (Mid-Afternoon):

Words that came to my mind:

Relax, free-play, outside,  keep on watering seeds that have been planted so that plants don't die

We decided that the mid-afternoon is the time to keep watering our seeds of learning,  to relax with a good book, to play and to go outside.

Fall (late afternoon):

Words that came to my mind:

Clean up leaves from Spring,  reap the rewards of our harvest, prepare for winter

The late afternoon is the time for us to clean up from the day and then we can reap the rewards of our planting during the day.  Sometimes this means play a game, play with friends,  do sports or other activities oh and get ready for the winter (dinner).

Winter (Evening):

The people that we spend our evening with are the people that we bond with.  - The Demilles

Words that came to my mind:
Holidays (family time), food, hibernate (sleep)

The evenings are our time for our family to come together and have dinner,  we read together,  watch a show together. play together,  talk about our (year) or our day together and then hibernate or go to sleep.

The Keys of Great Teaching

I want to post this printable that I have framed in our home.  Every parent is a teacher, mentor and a leader.  I love this printable and I love these principles.  As I pondered each principle they rang so true to me and I knew this is what I wanted for my family and what will help us on our journey.    I believe that these principles when applied along with the gospel of Jesus Christ can help me on my quest to teaching my kids.  Ultimately,  I believe it's not what I'm  teaching my kids but how that will yield the greatest result.

I am going to go over each principle in detail over the next few posts.  I already covered "You, Not Them".

My thoughts

Mission in Life...

Who has a mission in life?...

We all do!!!!

Wouldn't it be great if we all knew and felt that we had a purpose.  Wouldn't it be great if we had the freedom to find our purposes in life?  I believe this is the key to happiness.  When we feel that we are free to choose what ignites our passion.  When we find something that we love,  and when we want to share it with others. 

Wouldn't it be great if our kids education was centered around the idea that they are great?  That they are of infinite worth.  That they can succeed.

Wouldn't it be great if we believed this about ourselves.  I know I wandered around 4 years of college trying to discover my purpose and never really found it.  

I believe this is what I want for my kids and I want them to learn it from the time they are young. This is what led me to Leadership education.

What is Leadership Education??

To me the definition of Leadership education is the idea that each person on this earth is born with greatness.  We all have something great to offer the world.  To become a leader means to become your best self.  Leadership education is the pathway to finding that best self.  Given the right home environment or school environment,  we find our best selves naturally in a loving and safe environment where we are free to explore and discover our purpose.  Once we find our purpose we will want to share this purpose and mission with the world in order to make it a better place. 

In order to implement Leadership Education I believe that you have to make your house a house of learning, and a house of God where you can feel the spirit.  The spirit is the best teacher and the best guide for all of us. 

Well,  it's not just about our kids.  It's also about us as parents.  One of the key principles to successfully teaching Leadership Education is  "YOU, NOT THEM".

We are the leaders.  As our kids watch us carrying out our life's mission and purpose,  they will want to follow.

Here is an example of Leadership Education in President Monsons' October 2013 talk in General Conference:

"Dad would drive about 35 miles an hour all the way up to Provo Canyon or until we would come around a bend in the road and our journey would be halted by a herd of sheep. We would watch as hundreds of sheep filed past us, seemingly without a shepherd, a few dogs yapping at their heels as they moved along. Way back in the rear we could see the sheepherder on his horse—not a bridle on it but a halter. He was occasionally slouched down in the saddle dozing, since the horse knew which way to go and the yapping dogs did the work.

Contrast that to the scene which I viewed in Munich, Germany, many years ago. It was a Sunday morning, and we were en route to a missionary conference. As I looked out the window of the mission president’s automobile, I saw a shepherd with a staff in his hand,leading the sheep. They followed him wherever he went. If he moved to the left, they followed him to the left. If he moved to the right, they followed him in that direction. I made the comparison between the true shepherd who led his sheep and the sheepherder who rode casually behind his sheep."

I feel that this is a true principle of the gospel.  What kind of leader are we if we are not showing our kids the way.  If we tell our kids to do something we must do it as well.  Likewise,  they must realize that their education is their responsibility.

"Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is.” 
― Isaac Asimov

The other day my son said "You keep me up too late."  I said,  "You keep yourself up too late."  We and our kids need to stop blaming eachother for things that we do to ourselves.  Sure there are circumstances that affect our lives,  but ultimately it's the choices we make that affect our own lives.  Our kids need to take responsibility for their own actions and not blame parents or anyone else for the outcome.  This too me is "You, Not Them"  and is "Self education".  

No one person can educate another.-Oliver Demille

We can teach, inspire, lead, exemplify,  but ultimately it is up to each person to choose and decide that they want to learn something for themselves.  Until we decide to learn something for ourselves,  we are not truly learning.  

The key for me is to inspire my kids to learn by sharing what I'm learning,  setting rules and parameters like not allowing excessive media in our home, and inviting them to  learn the things I'm learning and things I think that they need to learn.

"You, Not Them" is an important principle that I believe can truly transform homes, schools, churches.  If everyone is taking care of themselves and becoming their best selves,  then we truly would have a whole world of "great" people.  This is what I feel the Celestial Kingdom will be like,  everyone learning and growing to become their best selves.  

Reflections on Motherhood

During my journey through parenthood I've read so many books, considered so many opinions and pondered and prayed deeply about how to be the best Mom that I can be.  I have always felt that I wanted to keep my kids close to home.  When other Moms were sending their kids off to preschool,  I felt the Lord telling me to keep them close.  So, I started a little Joy School group.  I loved Joy School and loved teaching my kids and having a community of Moms who enjoyed teaching their kids at home,  It was a fun time in my life of being a Mom.



.... Then my oldest son went to school.  My heart ached and longed to be with him,  but I thought every kid has to go to school and Mom's just need to get over it.  So,  I tried to enjoy my other 2 kids at home while my oldest was at school.  We had a great time,  but,  then he would come home and have sports and I thought,  oh,  but I want him to have time to play at home and to read to him.  I tried the best I could while he was on break,  but then of course he wasn't used to being at home anymore,  so we had to go places all of the time and have playdates.  I still kept on thinking,  but when does he have time to play and just hang out with his siblings.  But,  I followed the norm,  thinking this is what I had to do.

Then my second daughter went to school.  I was so sad,  and missed her so much,  but thought,  this is what I have to do right?  Then she didn't want to go to school and she wanted to stay home.  I longed to keep her at home and sometimes I did.  But, then she was falling behind in school and she loved to color and her teacher said, "  she takes too much time coloring,  she needs to spend more time doing worksheets."  Her teacher sent me home with packets telling me that she needed to do extra homework at night in order to stay caught up.  I complied, an we did homework and dreaded every minute of it.  This was all when my little girl was 6 years old.

Then,  my 3 year old boy had speech delay and I took him to get tested.  The school district said he didn't know his colors at 3, he couldn't talk and so he has to do 4 days a week preschool at the school.  Remember,  I wanted to teach my kids at least when they were little,  but now,  I had to keep them caught up in the system.   I felt that I was being told if your kids aren't doing this and this by this age,  they are going to fail in life.  There isn't time for them to be kids,  they have to stay caught up with everyone else.  This didn't feel right to me,  I felt there was so much more to childhood than drilling and homework and tests.

Finally,  my oldest son came home crying from 3rd grade saying that his head hurt from being in the computer lab all day taking a weeks worth of tests,  I said,  "  this is not what I want".....  so,  " I said,  we're not doing any of it anymore.  We are going to come home all of us.  My kids are going to learn to be together,  we are going to spend time together as a family and I am going to teach my kids,  not the school district,  not some teacher that doesn't know them or care about them as much as I do.  and I told my husband,  which was the hardest thing in the world.  Because I knew he considered it to be pretty strange,  he didn't want our kids to be wierd.  But,  my heart and the Lord told me this is what I needed to do.  My husband told me "I know you will be a great teacher to our kids."  That gave me a lot of confidence,  but now what to do.....

I have never done this before,  I was worried how they were going to grow up and fit in with society and how was I going to teach them.  They aren't very good at listening to me, and how do I do this?   Well,  I found great curriculums and tons of ideas,  but really what I needed to know was how not what to do.  I found "A Thomas Jefferson Education", by Oliver Demille and read it and loved it,  but heard and read negative reviews and thought that's not for me.  I still did not understand how to do this thing called homeschooling.

Then after my first year of homeschooling I was having a baby and in so much pain.  I still did not understand how to do this,  so called homeschooling,  but I just felt  this is what I must do,  I could see the big picture and knew where I wanted to be,  not how to get there.

So, in my second year of homeschooling I set out bound and determined to figure this out.  How am I going to do this?  I signed myself up for A Thomas Jefferson Education Facebook group to get ideas and tips from Moms who have homeschooled their kids and who have raised their kids to not only be educated, but whole individuals,  kids who have strong testimonies, are hard workers,  know how to socialize,  have strong families and love to learn.  This is what I discovered....  This book..... is the ultimate handbook for raising kids.  It's not about homeschooling,  but it's about research and a compilation of ideas and things that have helped families to raise successful children and it's not do this or else they won't turn out successful,  or it's not homeschool them this way or they won't turn out great.  It's about why our modern education system is failing and what we as parents can do to fix it in our homes whether we homeschool or not.  I truly believe that if we follow our kids developmental patterns and listen to our kids and trust that the Lord knows what he needs of them we will be led to know what to do for them.  I am so grateful for this book and for the things that it has helped me understand that I would never had understood if I had not decided to homeschool.  The next few posts will be about ways that we have implemented "Leadership Education"  in our home.